Gabe and Maryah Engagement photos

Big day: May 22, 2026

God’s voice

The other day my friend sent me the video (below) right after I had been coloring the one (above). That is how God shows up! 

Meredith

Life has been a bit challenging for me again. God continues to work in me and teach me things. And I'm realizing that those things are very, very painful. For me, they ooze out of me in fits of depression and anxiety. Hard to explain unless you were in my body. But it is what it is, and I'm trying to ride the wave. I did a first bout of this in 2024. It kicked my but royally. I then felt I was "living in freedom" for the second of 2024 and first half of 2025. And now he's peeling back some new things. 

 

I don't want to do this. And yet I see the differences in me after God did it to me the first time. So I'm trying to trust Him. But that is super hard. 

 

I know this is the healing journey. It is loops. I am in a hard loop. I'm praying it's ending. I'm praying I'm on the closing end. But I am going to count it all joy when I enter into hard seasons knowing this is defining my faith. 

 

Last night I spent two hours during youth group at my friend Meredith's house, helping little six-year-old Janessa do a puzzle. I love Meredith. God has blessed me with some great friends. I was blessed that I had a few good hours to sit with my friend.  

I want to be an OAK

God sees beyond your current pain to the strong, healing presence you can become for others. Let's look deeper into the final part of the Isaiah quote: "They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the LORD." The oak tree in Scripture represents strength, endurance, and shelter. Unlike smaller plants easily damaged by harsh conditions, oaks develop extensive root systems that allow them to withstand storms and drought while providing shelter for others.

Isaiah 61:1-3

“The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is on me, because the LORD has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners, to proclaim the year of the LORD's favor and the day of vengeance of our God, to comfort all who mourn, and provide for those who grieve in Zion — to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the LORD for the display of his splendor.”

This powerful promise reveals God's compassionate response to human suffering. He doesn't minimize pain or offer quick fixes - instead, He acknowledges the depth of our wounds while promising complete transformation. What makes this passage so consoling is that God specifically targets the emotional aspects of trauma: He addresses the brokenhearted, those who mourn, and those living in despair. When Jesus later read these words in the synagogue (Luke 4:16-21) and declared, "Today this scripture is fulfilled in your hearing," He showed that addressing human suffering in its many forms - including emotional wounds - is an integral part of His redemptive mission.

"Submit to Him in Grief" by Megan Fate Marshman

I recently listened to a video by Megan Fate Marshman. If you aren't familiar with her, Megan lost her husband at 38 years old to a heart-attack very unexpectedly. Here is what she writes about grief: 

We don't need to grieve alone. We need to get it out with the people God sends into our life. We can: 

1. Go through pain (the way we should travel)

2. Go back to the trauma (to avoid the pain -- or so we think)

3. Ignore the pain

Grief is a mess. We want to be plucked out of the pain, but God wants to to be present with us in it. If we don't grieve, we will look for relief from the pain somewhere else. Unhealthy options are an attempt to relieve the pain. (These can include: drinking, sex, drugs, busyness, etc.) 

In my case, I also would turn my grief into a focus on anxiety or other "problems" in my life. This was another way to not actually sit in pain. 

We can't heal what we are unwilling to feel. If we don't acknowledge God in our grief, we will live out of the stage we are stuck in!

Grief is the anecdote to trauma. Trauma leaves us stuck. Grief has the power to move us. Avoiding grief keeps us stuck. Talk about it. You are going somewhere when you talk about it. 

The #1 indicator of people who grieve and move thru trauma is having a community to process pain together. It brings out good things from people who listen to it as well. 

Psalms 34:18 says "The Lord is close to the broken-hearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." He isn't just near. He grieves with us. 

John 11: 35 says "Jesus wept." He knew Lazarus was coming back. He didn't take a shortcut away from the tears. There is nothing wrong with grief. We need to let others grieve too.

Isaiah 53:13 says "He's the man of sorrows." Don't suppress grief. Grief is the hope that things are not supposed to be this way. 

"The opposite of joy is not sadness, it's hopelessness." 

I need to read this every day

Fun day!

My mom

And Aunt Jan 

Took these two cuties 

Out for the day! 

So fun!